Currently Paper Walls By Yellowcard see related

Sometimes...

Sometimes...when I am alone in my dorm room, when I feel especially poetic, when I have a deep thought...

Sometimes...when I remember what it was like to be in high school and be online for hours every night while chatting on AIM and writing new journal entries....

Sometimes...when I miss my high school friends and listen to old favorite songs and remember when life was easier to figure out...

Sometimes...when I want others to read my ramblings and when I feel like emoting in print or when I want to reconnect with the online community...

I miss xanga. And everything.

And then, I remember how much I have grown in the last couple of years or remember the people that I have met in real life who catch me up on their lives by personal conversation instead of an updated blog or how I made a choice to go live life instead of writing about it. And I feel better.

But there are still those sometimes...

I miss the xanga days....

*sniff*

You see...

I've changed.

I feel as if I am no longer the same person.

I look and think and act and believe differently than ever before.

And I don't care anymore about what you think of me or if you don't agree with me.

Is this what growing up feels like?

Don't Tell Them Jesus Loves Them

Since I moved away to college, I have been attending a non-denominational church that is quite a lot like the church that I go to at home. The theology is solid, the preaching is deep, and the music is worshipful. I felt out of whack, though because I wasn’t getting involved at all and for me, this is really abnormal. The reason was because so many Grace students go there, that they staff all the events and fill in for whatever needs done. I also looked around and realized that the entire congregation consisted of white, middle-class, nuclear families. Everyone looked presentable and had the proper Sunday morning “Jesus” smiles. It was a really cool church, but as a sociology major who wants to work in social services in the inner city, I was really looking for something different.  I wanted to go somewhere that had a unique ministry, where people were desperate for love, and where I was needed.

So last Sunday, I attended the Warsaw Salvation Army. This was definitely a different church service than I had witnessed the previous week. The congregation consisted of about forty people and over half of that number were kids who had been picked up through the bus ministry. As I looked around, though, I was amazed to see what an incredible picture of the church it was. There were people from the lowest possible income rate, people from different nationalities, people from  incredible age ranges, people with a variety of disabilities, people in uniform, people in jeans, and people with a great number of needs. They needed to be loved. At first, I was about to dismiss the ministry because these were just a bunch of random people who didn’t really “count” as people to minister to. When I saw how sweet everyone was, though, and how nicely they welcomed me and how amazing it was to see them all worshipping together, my attitude quickly changed.

The speaker preached a message about our motivation for attending church. He made the point that our goals should be (1. To show love to God and (2. To show love to others. He concluded by playing this amazing song that really struck my heart. It was titled “Don’t tell them Jesus loves them” and the point was “Don’t tell them that Jesus loves them until you are ready to love them too.” At first, I was taken aback by this statement because it seemed so radical, but then I realized how deep and profound it was.

So often, I just want to get people saved, but I do not have a heart for actually being there for them. I want conversions to be a quick conviction and prayer, not a result of time and effort put into a loving relationship. I tend to love people who love me back or who will make me look good, not the ones that are so easily ignored and passed over because they have nothing but themselves to offer. My motivation for showing God’s love is so off sometimes. I want something out of it or I want someone to notice me or I want to earn “Jesus” points. I am amazed at how I can be so far from God’s commandment to love those who do not love me or who do not seem loveable. I was reminded of the verse in Matthew 5 where it states: “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?”

I was really convicted by this sermon and am inspired to improve my “love life” in the future. God has showed so much love to me and also instructed me to be an example of love and to pass it on. I pray that I will live a life that is marked by love.

Currently Listening Long Walk to Freedom By Ladysmith Black Mambazo see related

Cultural Revolution

I went to an amazing conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan this weekend. It was a three day conference on Faith and International Development. The main theme was “providing sustainability that lasts”. There were fifty different sessions to pick from on different topics regarding international development. Speakers from amazing groups that all provide international services were there such as World Hope International, Acting on AIDS, Christian Reformed World Relief Committee, World Mission Associates, and World Vision. They spoke on a variety of topics such as "Tools for Social Capital Development", "International Health Plans", "Justice Advocacy", "Ins and Outs of Transformational Development", and "Sustainable Rural Development". It was the perfect conference for a Sociology major. We attended a Fair Trade fair, drank Kenyan tea from recyclable mugs, and participated in a Broken Bread AIDS Meal.

As I sat in a session singing praise and worship songs with students and professionals from around the world, I was struck with the amazing realization that I was surrounded by people who were just like me. The whole chapel was filled with young people who also wanted to save the world.

In the past couple of years in church history, it has been fascinating to watch the role of the emerging young generation. It excites me to see how young people have realized the evils of discrimination and judgmental attitudes from earlier generations. Young people now have a better understanding of what is going on around in the world. A whole group is understanding God’s love for justice and are working to establish biblical principles throughout the world around them. People are getting recharged with the message of feeding the poor and standing up for the oppressed. Students are understanding that God’s love applies to everyone, no matter what your nationality, race, or lifestyle choice.

In this generation, there exists a large number of youth who has given up on the church and another large number who remains stuck in close minded, judgmental views, but for me, it is exciting to be a part of the other movement that seeks to spread God’s message of equality, love, and justice throughout His created world. It is fun to watch students understand that loving God includes caring for all of His creation, including the plants and animals. It is so cool to watch young people plan on how to provide sustainable development for third world countries. It is amazing to see youth following what is going on in our country in order to help those around us and learning how to be good stewards of every resource that God has blessed us with.  It excites me to see people gain a voice on changing some ill-advised views from earlier church generations.

Yes, I know that it is important not to get away with loose theology just to meet the needs of a cultural revolution and that we should never compromise on God’s absolute truths, which is something that those against the movement are quick to bring up. But the two realities can and do biblically coexist and it is important to realize that proper understanding of deep theology includes spreading God’s love to every race, creed, and tribe.

So anyway…I was incredibly encouraged by this conference and thankful for the opportunities to discuss, brainstorm, and plan with other Christians who are just as excited to put God’s commands and passions into practice.